Soulshine defeats Depression

 

 

Let your Soul Shine

written by: Lisa Morgan

Depression happens to the best of us. Most of us refer to it as the blues & some among us have made a living writing blues tunes & singing them successfully. Others among us have a beer, a glass of wine & sing the blues ...badly...sing the blues very badly. It's the thought that counts! The blues will come & go through out a lifetime, as it should. We can not appreciate the the good time, joy, bliss, happiness, the laughter without experiencing the lows, blues, pain & tear that will fall down our cheeks. 

Attitude adjustments are life's way of forming character & molding us into shape. ~

Lisa Morgan 

Roll with the punches or get the hell out of the way. Seriously move out of the way before the punches hit you or you need to get out of the way. Alas we are all human thus none of us are perfect in any way. We fail, we fall, we get back up. Get back up! My mother always says, "Learn from the mistakes of others; you can't live long enough to make them all yourself." Some people may not have gotten that Mama Memo, so I'm posting it for you now.

Depression Kills & Soulshine Heals

It's those time when we do not snap out of the blues that darkness overtakes us. Depression is an extremely dark, lonely place to dwell. No one wants to reside in darkness. It's a cold, bitter place where time stands still. Depression can be squelched. Soulshine is the cure for common depression.  There is always someone who has is having a worse day than you or has been dealt a hand possibly without a hand or two good feet. We mourn the dead. We end a relationship. We learn to love again, to live again, to breathe again. It is the dark that makes us crave the light. Depression kills & Soulshine heals. Choose wisely my friends.

I look around me at God's creations & I see wonder that abounds. I view people whose lives are much harder than anything I might search to complain about. I can walk, so I can make a conscience decision to walk in light. God's light has been a constant saving grace in my life. Jesus' sacrifice was a selfless act, that humbles me. Being meek is not being timid, it is being humble. There is always someone who will appreciate a smile or desperately need someone to smile their way. I choose to smile until my soul shines to light my pathway from darkness into a light filled space.

 Believe - Achieve - Receive- Give - Live

When there is only darkness, let your light shine through to pierce the darkness; others will see your light & mirror it bringing more light. Sometimes being the first to let your light shine, you'll bring light to others. Light will always overcome darkness. Depression is ceased by doing something for some less fortunate than yourself. Depression feeds off of self & is starved by selflessness. Soulshine will defeat the darkness of depression when your selfless acts bring joy to others, your soul will shine with bliss. Light your candle & let it be a beacon for others who are in darkness. Soulshine kicks depression in the butt saying "Snap out of it! Life is good!" Soulshine it's the cure for depression. Remember you are blessed so be a blessing to others.

 Thank you for spending your time with me,

Lisa Morgan

Author of the reality check book "Get Beach Slapped"

Muse @ MAXIM Chic Media & Consulting Agency 

Instagram: lisamorgan_maximchicmedia 

Twitter: @maximchicmedia

 #light #darkness #quote #wisdom #defeatdepression #soulshine #selfless #shine #joy #jesus #GOD #joy #lifeisgood #RT #blog #depression #self #humble #blessing #blessed #God #SEO #adwords  #happiness #fear #success #believe #heal #healing #blues #love #smile #life #lifelessons #attitudeadjustment #quote #GreggAllman #AllmanBrothers #music

www.getbeachslapped.blogspot.com

Baby Nutt Chronicles: This squirrel is nuts!

 Baby Nutt Chronicles: This squirrel is nuts!

By: Lisa Morgan

Baby Nutt

How do you feed a baby squirrel? You feed a baby squirrel with a syringe that you can purchase at a feed store, your local vet or possibly Walmart. The baby bottles may aspirate the baby & cause him/her to get fluid on their lungs & die. Be careful when feeding not to go too fast. My bay squirrel just had a birthday last Saturday. It's hard for me to believe Baby Nutt, my orphaned squirrel is almost 9 weeks old now. Where has the time gone? When Baby Nutt was 7 weeks old, I introduced avocado  pieces into his diet.along with the milk formula he drinks daily. It has been amazing to watch him grow from a tiny 3 week old squirrel with basically fuzz all over, into a rambunctious grey squirrel with a fluffy tail.


 He graduated from the small pet carrier, that he had been living in from the age of 3 weeks until 5 weeks of age, to a large pet carrier, in which he now takes up residence. It is a fully equipped squirrel crib with small tree limbs horizontally crossing through the holes on the sides; this makes a cross hatch pattern, for Baby Nutt to climb & swing upon.  He discovered he could jump last week. My husband yelled at the TV & it startled Baby Nutt who went from being asleep to leaping straight up in the air & hitting his little head on the top of the pet carrier, with a resounding thud! It was funny, but it felt bad for Baby Nutt, who appeared to be shaken for a moment. He shook it off like a trooper & it was at that moment Nutter Butter had an epiphany! He realized he could jump. Well suffice it to say he has gone form being a baby squirrel to a teenage spider monkey. He's bouncing off the walls literally.

Baby Nutt eating avocado.

Baby Nutt has also become quite affectionate. He has been smelling me from the beginning but last week when he started running across my arms, up & down my back; he began approaching my face to dole out mini kisses upon my nose or my cheek. Twice this week he decided it would be exciting to climb to the tallest part of Mom, my head. Luckily, I keep my hair up in a hair clip when I tend to him or let him out to play in my office. No he does not roam free in my office, unless you consider him scaling me like a mountain climber, to be roaming free.

It is quite amusing to see him shaking the door of the pet carrier. I give Baby Nutt a voice, so that when he shakes the pet carrier door I yell,"Attica, Attica!" Baby Nutt always looks at me as though I'm nuts. (Pun intended.) It's always interesting down here on the Funny Farm. A good example of the chaos, is when I stepped out on my front porch to feed the stray cat Pops, that apparently has adopted us, that's when I was startled by the opossum who I thought was just passing by last fall. He's twice as big as he was in the fall, so I'm assuming he has been eating cat food for months from the porch, thus his size. Cats, dogs, a squirrel & a opossum oh my! Like I said, "Funny Farm". Sometimes I feel like I've been transported back 50 years to an episode of the TV sitcom "Green Acres" & it extended into the next TV sitcom "Beverly Hillbillies" only without the uber oil wealth. (giggling)

Baby Nutt the messy eater with avocado & carrots scattered about.

Until we meet again at this same blog, have a blessed week. Remember no matter how chaotic your life is, at least you're not living on a Funny Farm & there is always someone less fortunate than you, with much less than you are blessed with. If you have your health you're a wealthy person indeed. God bless!

Thank you for spending your time with me,
Lisa Morgan
Author Get Beach Slapped
Muse at Maxim Chic Media

#RT #MAXIMChicMedia #squirrel GetBeachSlapped #cats #dogs #farm #health #pet #funny #porch #BabyNutt #author #blessed #blog #greenacres #beverly #hillbillies #TV #sitcom #wealth #babysquirrels #farm

Thoughts from the porch

                                                Thoughts from the porch

                                                      By: Lisa Morgan

 

Have you ever wondered why people who tout everyone should be open minded are actually themselves air heads? Why is that do you suppose? Maybe the new "buzz" word for the moment is open minded, which is the new term for air head, the more offensively term, for those who won't take the time to think or they have more than one brain fart at at time. Some of these open minded folks aka air heads have perpetual brain farts, which may have resulted in their blinds being blown one too many times. Perhaps it's the brain farts, that have caused the door to have remained open, on their minds leading to the open mind. 

The humorous part is that the open minded people often times are not open minded at all, they simply want everyone around them to be open minded to their thoughts, ideology or whims. Your mother said shut the door for a reason! Just for the record I must also add that brain fart is the more offensively term for senior moment or lapse of judgment or misspoken. Slice it anyway that you like, the meaning is the same....brain fart! The moment when you see the light bulb in some one's brain get switched on usually is the after thought of the brain fart. I'm here to enlighten those who suffer from being too open minded, without actually thinking through thoughts. You know what I mean, just allowing those thoughts to flow in one ear through the brain & out the other ear & never retaining anything. They allow someone else to tell them what to think because it's easier than actually thinking for themselves which requires work. We all know most people nowadays run the opposite direction of work. Work is the dreaded four letter word that is whispered while the new four letter word that is embraced is F#ck! Why is that? People used to be ashamed to say that "F" word & now it's like a badge of honor. What is going on people?

Please save an air head from too much open mindedness. Tell them to shut the door & ponder topics. Help stop brain farts across America! Help the open minded by handing out common sense to go along with that open mind. Common sense is the cure for all brain farts, perpetual open mindedness, misspoken words, lapse of judgment. Senior moments will happen to those well up in years & their cache of common sense should purchase them a well deserved break, for that senior moment.

It is great to being open minded to suggestions, to seeing some one's view, to addressing a situation from a different approach, but to leave the door open to the mind is dayhem foolish. You can't let everything into your brain without having a filter on it! Think of your brain, as your home. You have a door to your home to allow people to enter & exit, to keep things in & things out. Folks in the south have screen doors beyond the doors allow fresh air to flow in & keeping the unwanted pests like flies & mosquitoes out. Likewise with the brain you should have a filter to keep out things that are toxic, dangerous, ignorant or plain foolish from living in your brain. Those are my thoughts from the porch, the place that I ponder my thoughts while sipping on tea, mostly tea. I hope you kept your open mind while reading this blog & that you laughed along the way. Now don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you! Come back real soon for the next installment.

Thank you for sharing your time with me,

Lisa Morgan

                 Author of Get Beach Slapped a satirical reality check book


 #RT #GetBeachSlapped #humor #realitycheck #book #blog #openmind #porch #southern #tea #laugh #ebook #Amazon #barnesandnoble #Googleplay #screendoor #airhead

My Swinging Past

                                                              My Swinging Past                                  3/1/2017

                                                          written by: Lisa Morgan

As a child I used to sit with my maternal grandmother "Granny" swinging to & fro watching the grass grow or so it seemed to me at the time. My Granny was a Poarch Creek Indian lady of small stature, although she was larger than life itself to me. I'd brush my Granny's salt & pepper colored hair & she'd regal me with stories of the past. She'd talk & I'd listen, which for anyone who knows me was quite the feat, for me to listen & not chime in, nonetheless that is exactly how it happened. Granny was very near & dear to my heart. I remember the last time I saw her she was swinging on the front porch & telling me she wouldn't be around much longer. She had a premonition & her life was filled with premonitions that came to pass, as did this last one. Granny was a gentle soul, a kind woman, a tolerant woman & a God fearing woman who loved her family.

The reason I told this backstory to you is because it was a everyday occurrence in my Granny's life to swing to & fro in her old porch swing with the chipped paint. It wasn't until I was writing my book Get Beach Slapped a couple of years ago that it dawned on me why Granny loved swinging on her front porch. I was sitting on my back porch or lanai for those who prefer a more colorful term for porch, anyway I was doing absolutely nothing suffering from writers block when it occurred to me how peaceful it was just to be still. I rarely am ever still much less quiet so for me to be both simultaneously was quite miraculous & yet there I was at peace. I began watching the birds tending their nests while singing a happy tune. The squirrels were scampering from tree to tree forging for food & chirping at one another, as if it were a choreographed. I noticed the bees being chased by dragonflies, while my cats were mesmerized by the dragonflies. My dogs would occasionally chime in just to make their presence known. It was as if an entire orchestrated musical was playing out in front of me, quite the comical musical I might add. I wondered if one of the squirrels might be the mother to my orphaned squirrel Baby Nutt. I suppose I'll never know.

Why had I not noticed this before? How simple it was to stop, to do nothing but watch quietly & learn. I hearkened by to the days of simplicity with my Granny sitting, listening & watching. Granny's escape from the stresses of her day was to sit, swing, watch & listen. I suppose I'll never truly know what she was thinking about as she would sit gazing at her yard. I was too young to understand what being an adult entailed or better still what being an aging adult entailed. I was young, vivacious, ignorant beyond belief, filled with wonder & love for my Granny. She never was too busy for me though she was a hard working woman. She never was too tired to talk to me even though looking back now I see how exhausted she was at the time. She had a gentle voice, a forgiving soul, a humble woman indeed. Granny's swing was her sanctuary, her escape, her solitude where she would be still & unwind.

It reminds me of the bible verse Psalm 46:10 "Be still & know that I am God....". I believe my Granny was appreciating the many wonders of God's hands, the beauty, the enormity, which gave her humbleness. I wanted nothing more than to become wealthy one day to buy my granny a big house & take care of her, but it was not to be since she died early one morning, while visiting my Papa at the hospital where he was suffering from a concussion & broken collarbone; after a fall from atop a barn he was painting. Don't ask it's a long story, much longer than this blog. So my Granny passed away one month before my 18th birthday & I never bought her a big house, but never expressed a desire for anything, other than what she had each day.

Granny taught me to be still even though it took 35 years for the lesson to sink in. I never claimed to be Einstein. My Daddy's birthday will be coming up in April, he would have been 77. Daddy died at age 67. My Granny passed away at 65, so forgive me if I get a little melancholy over an old porch swing with chipped paint. My desire these days is to obtain a porch swing, whereby I can swing to & fro doing nothing, while gazing at the awe inspiring creations of God's hands. I guess I'm a much humbler woman than I realized. Maybe I'm a bit more like Granny than I realized. Thank you God! It's time to feed Baby Nutt. Life is filled with miracles everyday, if we only be still long enough to enjoy them.

Have a blessed week,
Lisa Morgan
@thebeachwife on Twitter
author of Get Beach Slapped www.getbeachslapped.blogspot.com

MAXIM Chic Media - social media management:
maximchicmedia@gmail.com
850-520-5040 MAXIM Chic Media team

 Always remember John 3:16

The Baby Nutt Chronicles: Baby Nutt says "Hello World!"

                                     The Baby Nutt Chronicles: Baby Nutt says, "Hello World!"

                                                       written by: Lisa Morgan   2/28/2017

Baby Nutt

It has been a rather warm February this year despite a few cold snaps that lasted a mere one to three days. Today was no exception with the mild temps, thus I decided to open the backdoor from my master bedroom leading to the veranda (that's back patio for those above the Mason Dixon line). My dogs had just finished their afternoon snack & were eager to stretch their legs while doing some business outside. The fresh air welcomed itself into my master bedroom & I was obliged to prop the door open with a chair, so the wind would not slam the french door shut, when I turned my back on it.

I noticed one of my tuxedo cats named Nemo scurry into my master bathroom. Nemo is a gentle giant of a cat, who is basically still a kitten although he is 18 months old. After maybe five minutes I noticed Nemo had an object he was playing with on the bathroom tile floor. Nemo stood next to what appeared to be a dead field mouse. It dawned on me that Nemo had scurried inside with a prize, which I was going to immediately dispose of properly. Nemo then scooped up the rodent with his paw & threw it on the floor. I saw it move slowly. I shooed Nemo away with my hands & I then eased closer to assess the situation. Upon closer inspection, much to my surprise the field mouse was an infant squirrel.

I gently picked up the squirrel with a clean washcloth. I observed there were no cuts, blood or visible injuries to the tiny light grey baby squirrel. My next move was to place a chenille blanket around the baby squirrel to warm him or her up, as the infant was cool to the touch. I told my husband & he immediately went to the most knowledgeable & nosy busy body on earth to get further information....Google. What do you feed a baby squirrel? How often do you feed baby squirrels? What formula do you feed a baby squirrel? Sol my husband had found a website www.squirrelnutrition.com  that had a wealth of information on the topic of rescuing, feeding & loving squirrels. Who knew? The all seeing all knowing busy body Google that's who knew. William Sells & Squirrel Haven Rescue many thanks to you, for your helpful information on squirrels. I read as much as I could on baby squirrels in between his first feedings.

Luckily we had whole milk, coconut oil in the house & my husband only had to purchase heavy whipping cream from the store. The formula is 1 cup whole milk, 4-5 tablespoons heavy cream 6-7 drops of coconut oil or about 1/2 teaspoon, then you heat all ingredients in a boiler on low heat until it starts to get frothy. You will need to stir often while cooking to keep the formula from scalding. Remove the boiler from the heat & allow it to cool to room temperature. As with a human baby you will need to test the temperature before placing the formula in a syringe to fee the baby. Never feed a cold baby squirrel You must have the squirrel warm before heading him/her.

I swaddled the baby squirrel & placed him/her in a pink milk crate atop a twin sized ivory colored chenille blanket. My brother had once raised a baby squirrel & he also gave me tips for the newborn. My next move was to heat up a bag of uncooked rice for a minute & then place the rice in a small cotton zippered pillow cover. It was warm & would bring the baby squirrel's body temp up & stabilize it, while I mixed & heated the milk recipe to feed the helpless creature. I mean how hard could this be to keep this helpless animal alive? You feed it, keep it warm, stimulate it as it's mama would to encourage it to move it's bowels & kidneys & you repeat. Wow I'm attempting to nurture this squirrel to save it's life. God please help me!

Baby Nutt being fed by syringe in my studio

Baby's need food, diaper changes, to be warm, to be held & loved. I can do this because in the past I have raised three kittens with eyedroppers, syringes & bottle until they were old enough to eat food. Surely this could not be much different. I know the routine of 2 hour feeding around the clock & setting my alarm to wake & feed the kitten or in this case squirrel. Luckily for the squirrel I don't sleep more than two to three hours at a time nightly, without waking to the urge to go potty, thanks to menopause & being just slightly over 45. Whatever...I'm 53 but I digress from the story. I can handle this responsibility of keeping the new edition to the Morgan funny farm alive. Our animal menagerie just grew by one more. Lord above please guide me & bless this baby squirrel to survive.
I decided that if we named the infant, then we would be attached to it, as if I weren't already at first sight. Since the mama squirrel never showed back up, we named the new edition "Baby Nutt" & it appears he/she may be a boy. Baby Nutt gripped my finer as I fed him, while I sat on the floor of my art/writing studio; afterwards he slept until the next feeding.

I repeated the routine to heat up his pillow of rice, heat his formula & allow it to be warm to the touch before attempting feeding number two. As I picked up Baby Nutt he screamed at me like a puppy or kitten would, which I took as a sign of determination & possible hunger. I fed him but he was not as eager to eat as he had been initially. Despite Baby Nutt's less than receptiveness to feeding number two, I proceeded slowly urging him to finish his 2 cc of formula. I cradled him in my cupped hands to give him security & warmth. Oddly enough I gently swayed him like I would a baby, then I kissed his tiny head, after which I placed him on the warm rice pillow & covered him back up with the chenille blanket. Day Three I remembered that I had a heating pad in my bedroom dresser drawer. I placed the heating pad on the lowest setting & replaced the warm rice bag with the heating pad. It did work better, but if you don't have a heating pad then the rice in a cloth bag will work. 2 cc- 3 cc every 2-3 hours around the clock until baby is 4 weeks old then he/she will up the feeding amounts to 4-6 cc every 3 - 4 hrs until the baby's eyes open at 5 weeks of age. Then you can feed 8-10 cc every 4 hrs, but the baby will vary slightly with amounts but 8- 10 cc is average. If baby wants more to eat then allow him/her to eat these are suggested amounts to make sure baby does not get dehydrated & is healthy.

How weird is this that just as I was wondering what do with my afternoon today, God gave me the answer. Today you will do your very best to save the life of an infant squirrel. Now here we are at sunset with Baby Nutt resting in his pink milk crate in my art/writing studio. Well I suppose that's the way life goes. We never know from one minute to the next what will happen. We can make plans, schedule appointments but life will intervene to remind us that we are not ever in control. I'm fine with he acceptance of God's plan over any idiotic plan I had. Life is about to get more interesting with the addition of Baby Nutt.

 I wonder if Baby Nutt likes music. After all Sol is a musician & I listen to music everyday in my studio, while I'm cleaning house, in the car or outside in my backyard. Music soothes all creatures large & small, so it would make logical sense that Baby Nutt would enjoy some music turned down low. Let's try my favorite stand by album Laid Back by Gregg Allman, as the beginners introduction into music for Squirrel 101.

Apparently Baby Nutt either is enjoying the blues music or maybe his ear are not open yet or possibly he's deaf, but either way he is sleeping as the Laid Back CD is playing. Who knew Baby Nutt was a blues fan? Just call #BabyNutt the Allman Joy Nutt...LOL, then again maybe it's my way of justifying listening to the Laid Back album yet again. It relaxes me what can I say? I'm going to put on some Etta James music to see how Baby Nutt responds. Nobody sings the blues like Gregg Allman, Ms. Etta James, Marvin Gaye or Ray Charles. After Etta finishes "At Last", I'll have Ray Charles sing few tunes. Does that sound nuts?

If anyone has ideas, tips or stories to share on their experiences with rescuing, saving or raising infant squirrels please let me know by adding them to the comments or adding them to my Twitter @thebeachwife  & use the hashtag #babynutt to your posts or comments. I'm going to do my best to ensure this small furry baby has a chance at life. I appreciate all information that might assist me in nurturing Baby Nutt. Are squirrels supposed to be blues fan? Am I a little squirrel-ey? Maybe so! Stay tuned for the next installment of the Baby Nutt Chronicles.

 Thank you for taking your time to read this blog,
Lisa Morgan
Author of the reality check humor book "Get Beach Slapped" available on Barnes & Noble, Google play, Amazon & other book outlets. Download the ebook. Follow my Twitter page @thebeachwife

#RT #squirrels #BabyNutt #EttaJames #RayCharles #GreggAllman #animalrescues #author #blog #life #funny #farm #nuts #MarvinGaye

Green Acres is the place for me? Could be!

written by: Lisa Morgan                                                 10/21/2016


Did any of you see the sitcom Green Acres? Ah of course you did because if you are too young to remember that sitcom then you would most likely not be reading this blog post. I wonder how many people some 45 years after the sitcom would actually ditch the city to live on a farm or at the very least in a rural community with country folks? I for one would have no problem with it whatsoever.

I do acknowledge there are some drawbacks to being in a rural area such as not having shopping centers, fine dining, entertainment, access to a 24 hour convenience store with gas pumps, mass transit. You do know that those are the very reasons why you would also choose a farming community or rural area to live. It's about experiencing a simpler lifestyle, which is not for the faint of heart, who fret over being being more than three miles from what they desire at the moment.

Following the red brick path is not the same as following the yellow brick road, people work hard in a rural area; they farm the land or at the least grow gardens from which they eat versus going to a super market. The red brick path leads to a farmhouse in a quaint country area where people do not put on Gucci, they put on working boots & jeans. The path of red bricks are worn from hard work, families going to & fro from the front porch, as the screen door slams. You will inevitably hear a female voice say,"Don't slam that screen door!" The brick path that leads up to the front steps of a farmhouse is not pretentious, what it is for many is a way of life to follow the straight & narrow path. There is something to be said for taking a simple approach to life, following your heart, not caring about opinions of people who do not live in your community or who do not know you, doing what you love & loving what you do. Life is short & some people seem to figure that out long before others hence they live every day with purpose.

I think Green Acres is the life for me. It's a good thing this blog is not in stereo where you could actually hear me sing the theme song to the show. My dogs just looked at me like I was in pain, lots of pain.  I digress from the idea of living simple. No one is keeping you from achieving your goals but you! If you desire to live in the country, in rural America, on the side of a mountain or in a seaside fishing village; then make that move. YOLO means you only live once, so why not start living simple.

The only things we regret at the end of our lives are the missed opportunities, that we were too scared to reach out & grasp. I have missed a few, squandered others & I hope to make the most of the ones life offers to me from here on out, until the good Lord above calls my name. Until the next installment of my blog remember there are far worse things you can do than be self sufficient, thrifty, handy, purposeful. Watch for an opportunity, as it will pass you by like a warm summer breeze through the oak trees.

Thank you for taking your time to join me,
Lisa Morgan
Get Beach Slapped author

MAXIM Chic Media - social media management
850-520-5040    maximchicmedia@gmail.com

Where is the PHD for Common Sense?

 Common sense is not longer common but a very rare precious commodity in our society. There was a time not so long ago; even in the last forty years when people exhibited common sense on a daily basis rather than once in a lifetime. Shocking I know but quite true I assure you. What happened to wisdom & common sense coexisting with harmony? Now people think that reading books by those without true wisdom, lacking in morals, void of common sense somehow gives you wisdom. Wrong! You simply are well read in liberalism or viewpoints but nothing more. When truth is distorted, wrong is right & people are coddled when they make incredibly stupid decisions then we see that common sense has left the building.

More & more people exit college almost brain dead. It's astounding to see the astronomical bills people incur going to college, after being indoctrinated rather than educated. Beyond that point, these same people were not taught common sense by their parents or grandparents either.  Where did we as humans get so ignorant? Animals know that if you poke a gator it might eat you, well more than likely it will eat you. These same animals know that if they do not watch over their young, then there is a huge probability that their young will not survive to adulthood.




I actually think that people with common sense, should be able to get a PHD in common sense. Common sense unlike book sense is a fleeting commodity in the world today. Common Sense is what parents used to instill in their children. Nowadays not so much. God gave us brains people, so please use them. I suppose the zombies have eaten all of the functioning brains.  Off the top of my head no pun intended I can think of a few examples like maybe you should look both ways when you cross a street, do not text, operate a laptop or call people when you are drunk much less drive. How about watch your children & hold their hands, keep them in your sight & put their needs before your own? Don't marry the same man or woman multiple times because it's just dumb! the dryer can not shrink your clothes 2 sizes simply put away the Doritos & ice cream. Don't provoke a dog, especially one you do not know or there's a good chance you will get bitten & the same goes for playing with snakes. Do not play around lagoons in Florida because gators habitat in most lakes, lagoons & ponds in Florida, it's just a fact. Do not pour lighter fluid on the grill after you have placed your food on the grill, this is really not wise. Common sense people! Do not spend more than you make in income. If you leave a teenager to their own devices with free time, then do not be surprised if they get involved in gangs or get pregnant or get someone pregnant, use drugs or alcohol thereby doing even more stupid things, because they are teenagers. 

Common sense prevents many human mishaps. Do not walk while texting as you could walk into a manhole, in front of a bus or into a pissed off guy who has just found out through a text that his best friend is seeing his wife. The point is common sense can save us humans a lot of trouble in the future. Now where can I go to get that PHD in Common Sense? 

Thank you for joining me!

~ Lisa Morgan

Check out my book "Get Beach Slapped"   www.getbeachslapped.com
Also available on Barnes & Noble, Apple, Google play, Amazon etc for downloads the bookstaores also carry the paperback version.

Hey Liberals here comes Hope & Change that America deserves !

We have a weak kneed President, who can not & will not speak out against Islam, Muslims or Illegals. America how long will we continue to be force fed lies from Obama, his cronies, Democrats & Liberals who preach tolerance & they have no tolerance for anyone who opposes their ideology. We must unite America if we want to continue to be Free. The Democrats, Liberals, Obama, Hillary Clinton are all plotting as you read this to ban guns from Americans while illegals, criminals, radical Muslims will have guns along with the government. Really? We all know that is not the answer. Defending Our Constitution is the only Answer!

We as American citizens must Vote out the Democrats, Liberals, Progressives & Socialists who do not uphold the laws of our land, who do not defend the Constitution. Europe has allowed the Muslim Refugees Invasion to basically destroy their land, their way of life along with their economy & it has come at an alarming cost, many rapes, murders, robberies at the hands of these so called refugees who have flooded Europe. They never appreciate the kindness shown to them they just demand, take & assault. They do not assimilate, the dominate! America wake up now or one day it may be too late. Look what has happened to this country since 9/11 when we were attacked by Muslims, Liberals have made us all feel guilty. Feel guilty for what? For not doing more, for our races, for our material possessions, for working hard & being told we are not working enough to support the illegals or as Nancy Pelosi calls them undocumented citizens.

We are told by the liberals to be more tolerant, to be patient, to give more, to work harder, to accept, to acknowledge that we somehow deserve less because we have worked hard; all the while these same liberals tell illegals & our youth to "get what you deserve". What the hell does that mean? No you work hard for what you want & then you get it. Every commercial says on TV, "get what you deserve", which is more of the liberal brainwashing! Get off your asses & be the hard working America that is the Land of the free & the home of the brave! We are not the land of kiss foreign illegals asses, or the land of tolerate while they dominate us! No we are Americans who are tired of making excuses for being free, for being gun owners, for being hard workers who drive pickup trucks, who carry bibles, who say God bless you & Merry Christmas, who baseball, apple pie, freedom, our Flag Old Glory that wave proudly!

Yes we are Americans & we are fed up so all you ass kissing liberals better watch out come election day 2016 because your world is about to change, as we the people make the necessary changes just not ones you had hoped for with your weak kneed Obama, Hillary Clinton & the liberal cronies. Liberals your days of offending hard working Americans with your idiotic ideology to tear down America are over! The wave of Americans standing up for our freedoms will knock you liberals on your asses. I hope you liberals are wearing your Depends because you are going to need them.

 Whether you like Donald Trump or not, whether you agree with him a little, somewhat or a lot he is the guy who has stood up to the liberals, stood on a stage of 17 candidates & became the victor of the GOP field. Mr. Trump is our guy, the guy who will defeat Hillary Clinton, the guy who will stand up to the liberals, the illegals, the radical Muslims. Hey all you liberals, progressives, socialists & radical Anti- Americans here comes the hope & change that hard working Americans deserve! We are taking back our country so I hope you can deal the changes you are about face as America stands up to liberal tyranny. Have you liberals pulled on those depends yet? It's what you deserve, after we non-liberals have endured the wrath of Obama. We are making America great again baby!
~ Lisa Morgan
My book "Get Beach Slapped" is available in paperback & ebook formats.
www.getbeachslapped.com

My Bucket List became a Bouquet List

My Bucket List became a Bouquet List

written by Lisa Morgan                                                                                         3/25/2016
                          
Life happens to us when we aren't paying attention. Sometimes if we take a moment to reflect on our lives then we find the most amazing things were taking place; things that we had wished for at times but never expected to happen. Dreams can become reality. It's what you do when the dream becomes reality that truly matters the most.

Everyone it seems is making bucket lists these days. You know that good old to do list of things we want to experience before we kick the proverbial bucket falling into the final resting place.  It made perfectly good sense to me sit down in front of my laptop, peck away at the keys to produce a simple bucket list. What I found was it's not as easy as you might think. My premise was that if you had only one day left to live, but you could do anything or go anywhere to do that anything; what would it be? I was stumped. I thought I would reflect on the fifteen years of my life, in order to get some perspective on the things I had wanted to accomplish but never quite got around to doing, in the South we call that "roundtuit" or get around to it. I sat down with a paper & pen at my kitchen bar to pen what I've accomplished over the last fifteen years. God bring you what you need in the season that you need it to come to you, even if you had forgotten what you needed.

I'm a dreamer with realist tendencies or vice versa & even so I consider myself to be a down to earth person. What I found was quite astonishing to me. My bucket list of things I had wanted to achieve twenty years ago had actually happened to me, not necessarily that I felt like I made them happen. Does that make any sense? I had at various time vocalized or day dreamed about wanting to attain certain goals, but with the direction that my life was going at the time, I might as well have been hoping to walk on the moon or dance with Brad Pitt. Although the dance with Brad Pitt option will remain open as long as I'm breathing. 
I digress once again so back to the handwritten list I was penning while sitting at the bar in my kitchen one morning. I sipped on my second large mug of java clicking my pen on the counter top. I started to put down on paper my achievements minuscule or grande. This is what I wrote:

Create Paintings or Artwork
 Sell at least one painting or piece of artwork (I'm an Artist)
 Get on a Plane (Conquered a fear)
Write TV show concepts & have them looked at by Hollywood Execs
Go to Hollywood Oscar parties (realize that I'm Not the starstruck type)
Buy a Mercedes ( realize the new wears off the label after a few weeks but still cool )
Produce & Direct a documentary film   (I'm a Producer & Director)
Write a Screenplay & have it filmed (I'm a Screenwriter)
Write a book
Have an admired comic laugh at my writing (David Brenner)
Write, Act, Produce & Direct a sizzle reel for a TV show (I'm an Actress)
Act in film play productions in Georgia (Not Oscar worthy just fun)
Find True Forgiveness
Pay cash for a house (good timing both in buying, selling & buying again)
Realize that you have a best friend, a true friend
Have my book Published (I'm an Author)
Sell at least one copy of my book (Yay!)
Write a Blog
Go to a Rolling Stones concert
Realize my soulmate is not perfect but neither am I
Appreciate my life

When I had finished this list of accomplishments, it dawned on me that this was an awesome bucket list, that I never could have imagined accomplishing twenty years ago. I decided to rename "My Bucket List" with a more deserving name & I christened it "My Bouquet List". The list had become a much more aromatic, colorful list therefore more deserving of a title befitting a fragrant stroll in a garden of life. No matter what I achieve from here until they lay me under the earth to push up daisies, I will consider my life to have been far more colorful than I could have written for myself. You see all the BS I have dealt with has cultivated a fertile ground for a lovely garden from which to pick a bouquet of flowers. Reality checks come when you least expect them but are most needed. God had given me a Bouquet List, while I was looking for a Bucket List. All things are possible with God.

Thank you for taking your time to join me,
Lisa Morgan
Author of the Get Beach Slapped book, a satirical reality check on life.
www.getbeachslapped.com

Don't walk, Honey it's time to Dance!

written by Lisa Morgan                                                                                 3/21/2016

You spend the first year of your life trying to yearning to walk. You spend the following six months of your life learning to walk & the next six months learning to run. What no one told you was that you'd spend the next eighteen years of your life walking or running to somewhere, anywhere but where your parents wanted you to be at the time. You spend the following twenty years running in every direction attempting to meet all of the goals that you'd set for yourself in your youth; only to find out there was never enough time to get all of it done, but there's always tomorrow or the next ten years right? It's frightening how fast the next ten years go by considering how slow the first twenty went, which somehow doesn't seem at all fair or right. Now that you've turned fifty, the big five oh my gosh, what happened to my youth & when did those start sagging?

Welcome to the world of the late bloomers, who thought there would always be time until there never seemed to be enough time. When you finally decide what makes you happy, not necessarily what you do for a living but what makes your heart skip a beat or makes your soul dance, you find out the clock is running faster than an Olympiad sprinter. Nonetheless you have found your passion. Now how do you combine that with making a living? Don't you just love a challenge? Challenges are what we as humans deal with everyday, so think of this as one of the best challenges because the reward is getting paid to do what you love! Remember no one lies on their death bed wishing they had spent more time at the office or washing more clothes & cleaning the baseboards more than when their Mom was visiting.

You have had plenty of experience walking & running by age fifty, that now don't walk cause honey it's time to dance. Parlay that passion of yours into a paycheck. You have a good twenty years left in the workforce so why not spend  those years with a glide in your stride, because let's face it after seventy it will become more difficult to walk much less glide. What are you waiting for? You saw how incredibly fast those last ten years went by! You were looking good one day & the next your hair was filled with these two inch long grey hairs that defied gravity, while your other body parts fell victim to gravity; not to mention the wrinkles appearing overnight accompanied by those annoying aches & pains. You better get off your ever growing backside while you still can & dance to the beat of your inner music. Whatever it is that makes your heart sing & your soul wanna dance, that's what will motivate you to get up every morning & to succeed.

Don't wait till the scoreboard has three seconds left to say "Oh no!", because those three seconds do not go in slow motion. I was with my Dad the last ten days of his life, as were my siblings & my Mom. My Dad fell into a coma & remained in that state until he died except for a brief moment when he woke up asking my Mom where he was. She quickly told him he was in the hospital & had been for about a week due to a series of mini strokes he had suffered along with a more intense stroke. My Dad looked over to see me standing next to him, which meant one thing, that I had driven a four hour drive to be with him at the hospital  & that could not be good. My Dad's last words were "Oh Shit!" Nothing like going out with a memorable two words wouldn't you say?

I knew immediately what he meant. No I'm not ready, there's so much more I want to do & to say, but the time on the scoreboard was running out. No more time outs left in the game. My Dad & I had a heated exchange about six months before he died, which was my fault & we never made up. This was also my "Oh Shit!" moment. As it turns out this would be a life changing moment for me in more ways than I could imagine at the time. I would never be the same, aside from the obvious that within a few days my Dad would be deceased.

I starting closing doors & opening new ones. I had no idea what I was doing but I knew I had to start moving to the beat of my inner music. I started writing again after a very long hiatus. I wrote a few screenplays, wrote a reality check satirical book. I actually had one of my favorite comedians David Brenner tell me that he thought I was funny & continue to write, which I did. The more I listened to my inner music, the more the song led me away from the limelight but to the sunlight. What I mean is that I do not desire fame or fortune but peace of mind, for me that is living simple. I never thought I would want to be surrounded by nature far away from neighbors or a big city but that is what I desire. Serenity, solitude & peace are things that are priceless to me, although I do realize I'll have to keep writing to pay for that serenity but it's the serenity that forges my desire to write which helps me find solitude. Funny how that works isn't it?

I'm going to spend my next twenty years dancing, maybe slow dancing, as I'm not moving like I used to ten years ago, but I'm dancing just the same. I want my soul to shine with such joy that all those mystic types think I have an aura, when in fact it's soul shine. I'm striving each day to be right with God in heaven. I know I'm doing better each day at that job but I'm no where near as good as I should be. I'll keep on working on myself because as it turns out I'm quite flawed. Aren't we all? I will keep on listening to my inner music humming a tune as I dance to my own beat. I want for my last words to be, "Now that was a dance."

Thank you for taking your time to join me,
Lisa Morgan

Author of the reality check satirical book "Get Beach Slapped"
www.getbeachslapped.com
@thebeachwife on Twitter
Get Beach Slapped page on Facebook

The story does not end when one leaves the stage

    

                           written by Lisa Morgan                                               2/21/2016

 

 

The sands of time will never erase the impression you have made upon my soul. ~ Lisa Morgan

It was laid upon my heart today to write this blog post. I'm not sure why. What matters is that it will hopefully touch one person out there with a heavy heart or a hardened heart.

There is always that day in your life when someone close to your heart & soul passes away from this life leaving you asking why. Why is that person dead? Why is the world still turning? Why are people laughing? Can't everyone see the anguish you're feeling, the heart wrenching agony of a love lost or a friend lost? Why is the world not stopping as I mourn? It does not seem fair.

The truth is it is not fair but your mama always told you life was not fair or she should have told you that anyway. The reason the world keeps turning, the reason people continue to laugh, marriages take place, first kisses happen, the birds sing, women go into labor with the newest arrivals to this Earth is quite simple, so simple in fact, that while you grieve it makes no sense.

Life goes on after each life passes away because it must be that way. God is no respecter of persons; meaning no one is more important than the other. Whether you are a king or a pauper, a rock star or homeless person, from America, Africa, Saudi Arabia, China, Israel or anyplace in between. no one is greater than the next to God, for we are all equal in his eyes. if everything stopped for one then it would mean that life was more important than the next life or the previous life. The only time the skies went pitch black in the mid afternoon without the sun was when Jesus Christ died on the cross at Calvary. The earth moaned at what had taken place as the Son of God was crucified, after the people prayed for a savior & God sent his only begotten Son to the world, they rejected him. They were foretold centuries earlier how his birth would take place & of the holiness but the people were of the world, so they refused to see Jesus as the Christ. When you are of the world or emerged in the ways of the world, then you can not see what is right in front of your face because you have the sight of the world & not the sight of grace.
When you have the sight of grace or you walk with God, having accepted his Son Jesus or Yeshua (in the Hebrew language, there is no "J" sound in the Hebrew language, Ye-shoo-ah) then you see things with more clarity, as your spiritual eyes, ears along with your physical eyes & ears are opened; whereby you see the ways of the world for what they actually are which is not of God.

I said all that to state the obvious, no one among us, before us or after us will cause the world to stop, except Jesus/Yeshua. No one is greater than the next, we are all children of God our creator. We all have the exact same opportunity to love God, to honor him, to serve him, to accept his Son Jesus/Yeshua as our savior, as God loves us all the same. We will all be judged based on our deeds. You see the world must go on, children will continue to laugh, people will still fall in love, babies will enter into the world screaming to declare they have arrived. It is just as it should be. The lovers kissing, the puppies playing, birds singing, babies cooing & children laughing are to bring hope to the grieving soul, with the knowledge that life will go on with promise. The laughter, singing, sunshine, rain & yes the screams of a new born babe entering into the world are here to bring joy to the grieving soul.

Grieve for the ones who you have lost. They will not be coming back to you in this lifetime thus you are saddened as you should be but rejoice after that knowing that one day you will again see them in heaven. After the pain subsides, one day you will smile again as you hear laughter, you will laugh as your soul heals, you will most certainly never forget those that have made a lasting impression upon your soul; this is as it should be. There is a time for everything. I say this to all who are saddened, "This too shall pass." You will find you soul shine again just wait for it.

Thank you for taking your time to join me,
Lisa Morgan
Go to my web page www.getbeachslapped.com 

Author of the satirical reality check book Get Beach Slapped.
A book filled with reality checks, seasoned with life experiences, peppered with satirical humor & doused with a healthy portion of Southern charm. Download it today or purchase the paperback version. Thank you for your time to read this blog.

Videos, Lies & Fugly Pantsuits!

                            

                     12/21/15                                                           written by: Lisa Morgan

                                                  Photo credit Jim Cole Associated Press

 Hillary Clinton seems to have been sporting a huge fashion faux pas at the last Democratic debate of 2015. The haute couture pantsuit appeared to be a faint attempt at making a frayed burlap potato sack be acceptable en vogue fashion; in actuality it appeared that Hillary was wanting middle class Americans & lower middle class Americans believe that she was barely out of the realm of poverty, as she would have the world believe. She touted how she & Bill were virtually broke when they left the White House in 2001. We all know that nothing could be farther from the truth, unless you also include the lies about the video ISIL or ISIS was supposedly using featuring Donald Trump speaking out against Islam & Muslims, now that was as we learned a huge whopper of a lie.

It would seem that Hillary Clinton has issues with lying or telling the entire truth, but she did learn from the best liar of all former President Bill Clinton, who famously pronounced before the free world that in his own words, "I did not have sexual relations with that woman!", which in fact is a lie & a mighty enormous lie I might add because Monica Lewinsky aka that woman told us the truth. The Clinton logic on lying is easily surmised by another infamous Bill Clinton quote,"Exactly what is the definition of "is"?" I'm not quite sure who influenced whom more in the Clinton family, maybe it was tit for tat, who knows & at this point, "What difference does it really make!!" is a famous Hillary Clinton line that comes to mind, her preposterous statement before Congress referring to the Benghazi attacks on 9/11/12, where four brave Americans lost their lives in a 13 hour stand off with radical terrorists in Libya.

As it would turn out former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton told her daughter after the attacks on 9/11/12, when the Benghazi embassy was under attack, that it was terrorists that attacked & lives were lost, then she went on to ask about sconces she had ordered, as if loss of lives at our American embassy in Benghazi was equivalent to wall lighting sconces. Really Hillary? Hillary Clinton the very next day told Americans & the entire world that an internet video was responsible for the attacks on the embassy in Libya. The same embassy were just hours before the attacks a representative from Turkey had dinner with the late ambassador Chris Stevens, this fact has been swept under the proverbial magic carpet & yet Hillary Clinton says, "At this point what difference does it really make?" Mrs. Clinton is makes hell of a lot of difference to millions of Americans.

 Why does Hillary Clinton blatantly lie & use videos as her scape goat? Does she not realize that it is 2015, albeit the tail end of 2015, nonetheless it is the "Cast Iron Age of the Internet", whatever is put out there will stick to it if it's hot enough & will never come off of the internet. Gone are the "Teflon Don" days when Slick Willy could divert the world's attention from his affairs by sending troops overseas to deflect from his indiscretions. Everyone knows that Bill Clinton is a known adulterer, with many women who have repeatedly said over the last thirty years that he either groped them, had affairs with him or that he molested them. Hillary lies about videos & Bill lies about women, which are known facts. We find out that just today ISIL or ISIS is not using videos of Donald Trump for recruiting purposes, but are using videos of President Barack Obama & former President Bill Clinton as recruiting tools.

For the record Hillary has a problem with lying or as the PC police like to say "telling the truth in it's entirety" & that is in fact the definition of lying,; when you do not tell the entire truth. Progressives, liberals & many Democrats seem to be under the impression that if they twist definitions that somehow wrong will become right & right will become wrong. The foundations for socialism start with just that very foundation of distorting truth or to lie. Remember when Hillary lied about taking gunfire that brings to mind the Brian Williams School of Ethical Lying!

Well Mrs. Hillary Clinton I will not lie to you when I say that Haute Couture frayed burlap potato sack that you no doubt paid between $2,500- $5,000 for, is in fact the frumpiest, most fugly pantsuit you have ever worn & mam you have worn some real doozies. See there telling the truth comes quite easy, somehow when Donald Trump tells the truth progressives, liberals, socialists & some die hard Democrats feel threatened by the truth, which causes them to coil like serpents. When they strike out with twisted truths or lies, they actually think that no one will call them out on these lies, but alas the American people have had enough of lies,lies about our safety, lies about Benghazi, lies about Hillary Clinton's emails, lies about videos & lies about fugly pantsuits. Well I just through in the part about lies over the fugly pantsuits because someone has obviously been lying to Hillary if she is still purchasing these horrendous two piece mu-mus.
Do everyone a favor Hillary Clinton stop lying & try something new like telling the truth because at this point Mrs. Clinton what difference does it really make? It could in fact make all the difference.


Thank you for taking your time to join me,
Lisa Morgan



Follow me on twitter @thebeachwife
visit my webpage www.getbeachslapped.com
Purchase my current humorous book Get Beach Slapped available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble,
Apple, Googleplay among other sites for downloads or in paperback format.

I had a Farmhouse in America (spoken in Meryl Streep's voice)...A Funny farm!

I'm seriously considering purchasing a farmhouse. I thought I'd never move again. "Never say never for that is exactly what you will do" is my mother's motto and yes my mother is once again correct, as always. I am on a quest to find the perfect or imperfect farmhouse to acquire before I retire. Hmmmm.... kind of catchy don't you think? I will be blogging throughout the process which I'm sure there will have many ups and downs, as all home buying experiences usually possess. Oddly enough I feel like I'm coming home in my soul and yes I suppose I am coming back home. Who said you can never go back home? Oh yes that would have been my dearly departed Dad many, many moons ago when I was in my early twenties.

Actually a farmhouse anywhere in the south would suit me. Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, South or North Carolina maybe Florida or Louisiana. Texas is not out of the running. The idea of having acreage with fruit trees, a garden, a view, a flowing creek appeals to the down to earth side of me. Getting back to my country girl roots is something that I would not have envisioned a decade ago. My how things change! It reminds me of what my mama has always said, "Be careful what you say you won't do, for it's exactly what you will end up doing, if you're not careful." Funny how God's plans for our lives will supersede our plotted out distorted version of paradise. Sometimes that dirt road looks mighty appealing especially when walking another step on pavement seem impractical.

I've always wanted to give my homestead a name. A name that reflects who my husband & I are so I think the farmhouse will be christened "Solitude". My husband's name is Sol, so the name Solitude would announce to the world that "Sol" & "Tude" reside here.

What about a barn? I could sit in the loft of the barn after a day of working in the garden & I could chronicle the events of the day from sunrise to sunset. Can't you just see me doing an old school version of reality TV, where you read what is happening with the occasional snapshot, to give you the visual. There would be no list of all the meals or snacks ingested because in reality who cares!? The chronicles would be about the ups & downs of farm life. The moments of laughter, intensity or excitement when the garden or fruit tress spring forth their bounty from the earth. Yes moments of gratitude, harmony mingled with dirty jeans & un-manicured nails & salon free days. I'm up for the challenge! Let the games begin.....that sounds like I'm an Olympiad, which is absurd. Let the best of the rest of my life begin!

I can see myself sipping tea from the back porch of the elusive back porch, target shooting at a series of tin cans lined up across the property as my hubby picks up the cans & re-positions them on top of old wooden wine barrels. He would ask me if I'd like a refill of tea & what my dinner menu consisted of as he walks through the screen door to start the laundry. The dogs are all holding their dinner bowls while the cats are sleeping on the porch swing. The catfish are jumping, old paddle wheels pumping and something is off. Did my hubby just refill my tea glass & ask me what I wanted for dinner as he went to do laundry? Wait I must have dozed off for a moment! Well a girl can dream can't she? Call that moment reality checked!

The quest to find my farmhouse in America has begun. I sit here typing gazing out my office window watching the blue jays chasing squirrels around the trees. The dragonflies are zipping to & fro while the butterflies are fluttering as butterflies do. My cats are stalking the elusive dragonflies. The dogs are basking lazily in the afternoon sun ignoring the curious squirrels scampering around the trees. The birds have spotted the seeds I tossed out for them. I love the way nature knows exactly what it is to be doing, while humanity seems somehow stumped by our need to control life & everything around us. Humanity wants to "fix" what God has created or to "enhance" God's creations. We fail miserably, create chaos & call ourselves successful masters of the universe, as if we are playing some gigantic video game in a virtual world. I think that the birds, squirrels, cats, dogs, butterflies, bees & butterflies have more sense than most humans. Maybe what I need to do is get back to nature, learn to relax, put my hands in the dirt, kick off my shoes & tune out the noise. God provides for all of his creations. I have faith that it will all turn out the way that it should.
My foot has fallen asleep which is code for me to leave this desk chair to venture outside. I hear a glass of green tea calling my name.

I'm quite sure there will be a book written about this journey. Maybe I'll call it "Down on the Funny Farm"? You can purchase my last book Get Beach Slapped online at bookstores & ebook sites or go to my webpage for links.

Thank you for taking your time to join me,
Lisa Morgan 

Follow me on Twitter @thebeachwife.
my Facebook page Get Beach Slapped
 
www.getbeachslapped.com
#humor #lifelessons #realitycheck  #home #alabama #farm #family #getbeachslapped #book #farmhouse #blogger #humor

Reality Checks are the Answer to Selfies

written by Lisa Morgan                     7/15/2015

Is everyone on earth as sick & tired of seeing selfies as I am or am I the only non narcissistic person left on the planet? Surely I jest! No I'm very serious about this topic. There was a time not that long ago when another person would take a snapshot of you, but now it's all the rage to take selfies doing absolutely anything or nothing as the case may be. I personally draw the hard line in the sand over the selfies sticks. Really people? Do we really need to take selfies of ourselves enough that someone devised a stick...a stick I said that holds your phone in order to get a better selfie or group pic on your cell phone. 

Wow! We are a world of self indulgent people who are nothing more than lab rats for corporations. 

"Make it & they will buy it"  should be the slogan for Americans. We need a technology intervention, especially when it comes to selfies because I do not want to know nor do I care about what you are eating, what your expression was when you woke up or when you got drunk at the local pub not to mention

everything in between.

Being self centered has gone to an all time high and an all time low at the same time. What ever happened to flipping open your wallet to reveal a four foot long trail of pictures of your family, pets & friends? Most people only had a picture of themselves on their driver's license in their wallet back before smart phones. Don't get me started on the "smart phone"! Now people have more selfies on their smart phone than they do of family, pets or friends, as a general rule anyway. This is a sign of the times & yes the times are changing my friends. Change is not always a good thing, in fact it can lead to falling hard. I just hope when people wake up from the selfie nightmare that they have had some common sense knocked back into their heads, when they fell back into reality. Reality checks do bounce you know! I for one know that reality checks bounce. When your reality check bounces make sure you Get Beach Slapped with humor cause you're going to need it. Falling on your butt is never fun but if you were traveling on the road less traveled, the dirt road when your stormy days encompassed you just before your reality check, then your fall on your butt may have been softened by the puddle of mud that the storm you were in created. You see God will always leave you a way out if you trust in him, which does not mean you will never fall, you most certainly will because you are after all human; it just means your fall may have a bounce to it. So don't worry about that last five or ten pounds you've been trying to lose because you may need some padding on your butt the next time you fail & have a reality check. A thud is always worse than a splash! 

I suppose you get the picture on my opinion of selfies, no pun intended.....actually it was intended. Let's see a picture of  the beach instead of a selfie. I hope you like this one and it helps to put your mind into a state of Soulshine, which is by far the best state to be in, sorry Florida you are my next favorite state.

You gotta love it!

Here's a picture that needs no words.

 Get Beach Slapped!

Thanks for spending some of your time with me, your time is more valuable than money,

Lisa Morgan

Author of the satirical reality check book Get Beach Slapped 

www.getbeachslapped.com