Thoughts from the porch

                                                Thoughts from the porch

                                                      By: Lisa Morgan

 

Have you ever wondered why people who tout everyone should be open minded are actually themselves air heads? Why is that do you suppose? Maybe the new "buzz" word for the moment is open minded, which is the new term for air head, the more offensively term, for those who won't take the time to think or they have more than one brain fart at at time. Some of these open minded folks aka air heads have perpetual brain farts, which may have resulted in their blinds being blown one too many times. Perhaps it's the brain farts, that have caused the door to have remained open, on their minds leading to the open mind. 

The humorous part is that the open minded people often times are not open minded at all, they simply want everyone around them to be open minded to their thoughts, ideology or whims. Your mother said shut the door for a reason! Just for the record I must also add that brain fart is the more offensively term for senior moment or lapse of judgment or misspoken. Slice it anyway that you like, the meaning is the same....brain fart! The moment when you see the light bulb in some one's brain get switched on usually is the after thought of the brain fart. I'm here to enlighten those who suffer from being too open minded, without actually thinking through thoughts. You know what I mean, just allowing those thoughts to flow in one ear through the brain & out the other ear & never retaining anything. They allow someone else to tell them what to think because it's easier than actually thinking for themselves which requires work. We all know most people nowadays run the opposite direction of work. Work is the dreaded four letter word that is whispered while the new four letter word that is embraced is F#ck! Why is that? People used to be ashamed to say that "F" word & now it's like a badge of honor. What is going on people?

Please save an air head from too much open mindedness. Tell them to shut the door & ponder topics. Help stop brain farts across America! Help the open minded by handing out common sense to go along with that open mind. Common sense is the cure for all brain farts, perpetual open mindedness, misspoken words, lapse of judgment. Senior moments will happen to those well up in years & their cache of common sense should purchase them a well deserved break, for that senior moment.

It is great to being open minded to suggestions, to seeing some one's view, to addressing a situation from a different approach, but to leave the door open to the mind is dayhem foolish. You can't let everything into your brain without having a filter on it! Think of your brain, as your home. You have a door to your home to allow people to enter & exit, to keep things in & things out. Folks in the south have screen doors beyond the doors allow fresh air to flow in & keeping the unwanted pests like flies & mosquitoes out. Likewise with the brain you should have a filter to keep out things that are toxic, dangerous, ignorant or plain foolish from living in your brain. Those are my thoughts from the porch, the place that I ponder my thoughts while sipping on tea, mostly tea. I hope you kept your open mind while reading this blog & that you laughed along the way. Now don't let the door hit you where the good Lord split you! Come back real soon for the next installment.

Thank you for sharing your time with me,

Lisa Morgan

                 Author of Get Beach Slapped a satirical reality check book


 #RT #GetBeachSlapped #humor #realitycheck #book #blog #openmind #porch #southern #tea #laugh #ebook #Amazon #barnesandnoble #Googleplay #screendoor #airhead

Buttercups hold onto your Whiny Hineys

 Buttercups Hold onto your Whiny Hineys  

by Lisa Morgan                                                                                            Sept. 9, 2016

                                              The Buttercup Generation of Whiny babies

The Buttercup generation cries because they're offended by words, by actions, by appearances, by appearances of actions & they're offended that others might be offended, by the tantrums of the Buttercups. The Buttercups stomp & burn our American flag, they sit down in protest at our National Anthem. Contrast the Children of the 40's, 50's, 60's & 70's  who cried when we got whoopings, because our parents wanted to make sure we knew right from wrong & we did not embarrass them by acting like unruly brats or Buttercups. The Children of the 40's, 50's, 60's & 70's hold the American flag in high esteem along with the National Anthem. Hey Buttercups hold onto your hineys because LIFE has not yet begun to Whoop your A$$es. Life has a funny way of slapping your behind or hiney back into reality,  when you get too big for your britches (pants).  FYI: If you check the southern dictionary of slang then you will find that britches are pants, whoopings are serious spankings but not abuse & the hiney is your behind, butt or A$$. I'm sure my mother will call me with a few choice words for me after she reads that I wrote the word A$$. (IF you must ask what a Whooping is, then you have Never had one, trust me!) ~ Lisa Morgan www.getbeachslapped.blogspot.com

~ Lisa Morgan
author of the book "Get Beach Slapped" a reality check humor book

Rednecks or PC Neighbors: What is your preference?

Everyone is up in arms over Rednecks & Southern folks displaying the Confederate flag. Now think about this for a moment. Lynyrd Sknyrd used a rebel or confederate flag as their logo for over forty years & no one cared or took notice. Your average redneck or southern good old boys say what they think, the wave their flags, they love this country, they love their mama, they love their pickup trucks & they go to church on Sunday. These same confederate flag waiving folks are God fearing, patriots who if they see something suspicious will tell everyone they know & withing 15 minutes it will be all over the small towns they live in.

The neighbor in San Bernadino who was more concerned with being PC or politically correct, more concerned with being labeled a bigot or racist remained silent but observed. Liberalism is the majority in California, where the toughest gun laws in the country did not prevent Syed Farook & Tashfeen Malik from murdering 14 people & wound 22 others. The murdered & wounded were of various ethnicities, both men & women. The terrorist couple did not see race they saw Americans, they hated the American way of life & our freedoms; which they took advantage of at every opportunity.

The redneck or southern good old boy & their family may drive a pickup truck with a bumper sticker that says "Lynyrd Skynyrd", they may wear ball caps with American flags on them, they may fly a confederate flag from their front yard flagpole or from their clothesline. The same fore mentioned redneck/ southern good old boy will let someone know, if their neighbor is having people going in & out of their garage late nights, after receiving several packages carried by Middle Eastern looking men. The same redneck/ southern good old boy & his family have a beer & tell everyone at the local "Dew Drop Inn" lounge what his neighbor is doing. Rednecks are never silent they make a lot of noise & for the reasons I mentioned before, you would rather have a redneck good old southern boy & his family living next door to you than a liberal PC anti gun individual.

The redneck may go to Walmart in his flannel pj pants along with the entire good old boy family, they may talk too loud, sing Amazing grace too loud, they may salute every military officer they see & salute the American flag even when the flag is on TV at a ball game; but this redneck southern good old boy, confederate flag waiving, weekend hunting, Budweiser drinking, pickup truck driving man & his family of like minded folks will never remain silent & put themselves, their families, their neighbors or America in harms way when they see suspicious activity that looks like it might remotely be attached to terrorism.

So you tell me would you rather have a southern redneck wearing a confederate flag T-shirt listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd "Sweet Home Alabama" in his pickup truck & his family living next door to you or a PC individual driving a Prius who wears a T-shirt saying "Go Green", who will remain silent while viewing suspicious activities for years? It's your choice to follow the PC police who have the country divided concentrating on Confederate flags rather than vetting those entering our country, who would rather incite riots rather than letting justice take it's course, they would rather demonize police officers & tout climate change as our biggest threat to the world; than to actually verbalize that ISIS & all terrorist groups with like minded ideology are the biggest threat to the world.

When it comes to reality you must put things into perspective. The folks waving confederate flags, the folks with Black Lives matter banners, the folks with Pro Life banners, the folks with nativity scenes on their front lawns, the folks saying "Merry Christmas" are not the enemy, they are not the biggest threat to the United States of America. The biggest threat to the United States of America is allowing Liberal Progressive PC folks who want to tell us all what to say, to redefine words, to tell us all what to eat, or how offensive we are or that just by simply breathing & exhaling that we are harming the planet with Co2, those people who will allow terrorism to flourish under their guise of political correctness are the very ones who will stand by & watch as a Muslim radical, his Muslim radical wife, their Muslim radical relatives make pipe bombs, strap bombs to remote controlled cars, speak anti American rhetoric, while calling turning a blind eye. POTUS Barack Obama will allow 200,000 refugees into America not knowing whether or not they want to wage Jihad against American citizens. Even if 1% only want to commit Jihad are you okay with 2,000 radical terrorists entering America?

The United States of America should remain united in the fight against terrorism, against the PC speech that refuses to acknowledge the reality before us. We should remain vigilant in demanding that no one enters the United States of America without properly checking them out or vetting them. If you can not do this for whatever reason then do not let them in or you run the very real risk of having another Syed Farook & Tashfeen Malik committing mass murders in the name of Jihad.

You might want to reevaluate your perspective on Confederate flags, Black Lives matter banners, Pro life signs, safe zone areas for colleges that avoid true freedom of speech. A reality check for America has been long over due. This holiday season I will wish you a "MERRY CHRISTMAS, Happy Hanukkah & Seasons Greetings! May you look at what is going on in the United States of America as an American issue rather than a racial divide. God bless & stay safe out there.

Thank you for taking your time to join me,
Lisa Morgan

Follow me on Twitter @thebeachwife
Look for my current humor book  Get Beach Slapped at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple,
Google Play.