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Sunday, October 18, 2015

I had a Farmhouse in America (spoken in Meryl Streep's voice)...A Funny farm!


I'm seriously considering purchasing a farmhouse. I thought I'd never move again. "Never say never for that is exactly what you will do" is my mother's motto and yes my mother is once again correct, as always. I am on a quest to find the perfect or imperfect farmhouse to acquire before I retire. Hmmmm.... kind of catchy don't you think? I will be blogging throughout the process which I'm sure there will have many ups and downs, as all home buying experiences usually possess. Oddly enough I feel like I'm coming home in my soul and yes I suppose I am coming back home. Who said you can never go back home? Oh yes that would have been my dearly departed Dad many, many moons ago when I was in my early twenties.

Actually a farmhouse anywhere in the south would suit me. Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, South or North Carolina maybe Florida or Louisiana. Texas is not out of the running. The idea of having acreage with fruit trees, a garden, a view, a flowing creek appeals to the down to earth side of me. Getting back to my country girl roots is something that I would not have envisioned a decade ago. My how things change! It reminds me of what my mama has always said, "Be careful what you say you won't do, for it's exactly what you will end up doing, if you're not careful." Funny how God's plans for our lives will supersede our plotted out distorted version of paradise. Sometimes that dirt road looks mighty appealing especially when walking another step on pavement seem impractical.

I've always wanted to give my homestead a name. A name that reflects who my husband & I are so I think the farmhouse will be christened "Solitude". My husband's name is Sol, so the name Solitude would announce to the world that "Sol" & "Tude" reside here.

What about a barn? I could sit in the loft of the barn after a day of working in the garden & I could chronicle the events of the day from sunrise to sunset. Can't you just see me doing an old school version of reality TV, where you read what is happening with the occasional snapshot, to give you the visual. There would be no list of all the meals or snacks ingested because in reality who cares!? The chronicles would be about the ups & downs of farm life. The moments of laughter, intensity or excitement when the garden or fruit tress spring forth their bounty from the earth. Yes moments of gratitude, harmony mingled with dirty jeans & un-manicured nails & salon free days. I'm up for the challenge! Let the games begin.....that sounds like I'm an Olympiad, which is absurd. Let the best of the rest of my life begin!

I can see myself sipping tea from the back porch of the elusive back porch, target shooting at a series of tin cans lined up across the property as my hubby picks up the cans & re-positions them on top of old wooden wine barrels. He would ask me if I'd like a refill of tea & what my dinner menu consisted of as he walks through the screen door to start the laundry. The dogs are all holding their dinner bowls while the cats are sleeping on the porch swing. The catfish are jumping, old paddle wheels pumping and something is off. Did my hubby just refill my tea glass & ask me what I wanted for dinner as he went to do laundry? Wait I must have dozed off for a moment! Well a girl can dream can't she? Call that moment reality checked!

The quest to find my farmhouse in America has begun. I sit here typing gazing out my office window watching the blue jays chasing squirrels around the trees. The dragonflies are zipping to & fro while the butterflies are fluttering as butterflies do. My cats are stalking the elusive dragonflies. The dogs are basking lazily in the afternoon sun ignoring the curious squirrels scampering around the trees. The birds have spotted the seeds I tossed out for them. I love the way nature knows exactly what it is to be doing, while humanity seems somehow stumped by our need to control life & everything around us. Humanity wants to "fix" what God has created or to "enhance" God's creations. We fail miserably, create chaos & call ourselves successful masters of the universe, as if we are playing some gigantic video game in a virtual world. I think that the birds, squirrels, cats, dogs, butterflies, bees & butterflies have more sense than most humans. Maybe what I need to do is get back to nature, learn to relax, put my hands in the dirt, kick off my shoes & tune out the noise. God provides for all of his creations. I have faith that it will all turn out the way that it should.
My foot has fallen asleep which is code for me to leave this desk chair to venture outside. I hear a glass of green tea calling my name.

I'm quite sure there will be a book written about this journey. Maybe I'll call it "Down on the Funny Farm"? You can purchase my last book Get Beach Slapped online at bookstores & ebook sites or go to my webpage for links.

Thank you for taking your time to join me,
Lisa Morgan 
Follow me on Twitter @thebeachwife.
my Facebook page Get Beach Slapped
 
www.getbeachslapped.com
#humor #lifelessons #realitycheck  #home #alabama #farm #family #getbeachslapped #book #farmhouse #blogger #humor


Friday, October 16, 2015

Life is More Precious than Diamonds

 10/16/2015                                                                               written by: Lisa Morgan


Life is multifaceted like a diamond, but Life is more precious than any gemstone. Life is fragile like a dandelion and yet we are careless with it. When you smile or laugh…pause & let that moment sink into your memory. Life is good. Life is not always easy nor should it be. If life were always perfect, rosy, sunny & fair then how would we appreciate it, not having been down, troubled, without or in need? When you are troubled be glad that tomorrow will be better & you now have the knowledge you need to appreciate the good times just over the horizon. We all have bad moments, remember to make the most of those moments that shine brighter than any diamond.

Shiny baubles & glittering apparel are just body adornment but the true way to shine is through laughter & smiles which result in soul shine. Just like the song by sung by the Allman Brothers band says,"soul shine is better than moonshine, better than sunshine, damn sure better than rain." Though I may occasionally adorn myself with a little glitter trust me none of it is more valuable than laughter with friends or family.

I have a good friend who is the type of friend everyone should have. Michelle would rather have flowers in her hair than diamonds around her neck. Friends who see the beauty in life, appreciate God's creations & take you at face value, rather than valuing the materialistic possessions in life
are priceless.

Anyone who laughs, smiles & glows with joy from within is very rich indeed, for no amount of wealth can make you happy & give you soul shine. I wonder if the banks accept soul shine?
Thank you for taking your time to join me,
Lisa Morgan
                                 
Get Beach Slapped! http://www.getbeachslapped.com
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Download my book Get Beach Slapped in bookstores or online @ iTunes for Apple, Google Play, Barnes & Noble, amazon & other bookstores. Thanks for supporting my work!

#AllLivesMatter or Do They? You can't have it both ways unless you're a Democratic Socialist!



It was quite appalling to say the very least that the #Dems at the Democratic debate could not bring themselves to say #AllLivesMatter, instead they pandered for votes vocalizing one by one #BackLivesMatter. The Democratic party has become even too left for most of the lefties & not far enough for the socialists who taught them as Progressives, which I'm sure even the left wing insurance owned Progressive company would be offended by being lumped into the same name game as Democratic Socialists. Yes Democrats or maybe just Bernie Sanders, has found a way to PC about socialism; let's call it Democratic Socialism & it will sound more acceptable & American.
Think again Mr. Socialism or Democratic Socialist!

Does anyone wonder why socialists are the most anti-social people around? Well it could have something to do with them wanting to put their hand into your wallet & donate or redistribute your hard earned money to someone else who spends their days on the couch watching reality TV, instead of joining reality & working for a damn living. Socialism has worked so well for communist China, just ask the Chinese; oh right you can't because most of them do not have access to the internet or cell phones because of socialism/communism. You see if you are far too quick to place your hand in someone's pocket then you are either
A: reaching for their wallet/money or B: you are wanting to play pocket pool, which I'm sure the later would be fine with Bill Clinton but you better not touch his millions made from giving speeches while Hillary was Secretary of State. Hillary is fine as are most Progressives & Socialist with giving away Your Money, just Not Their Money! Have you ever noticed Socialist countries do not have a dictator who has his wealth distributed, no the Dictator is always far wealthier than the average Joe or Jill, unlike Joe or Jill Biden who would have you believe they are one of you. That's a typical political maneuver politicians flaunt to attempt to convince you that they are a n average Joe or Jill working paycheck to paycheck as many Americans are these days. Don't tell me you are still astonished by the fact that dictators run socialists & communist countries! Do you think Putin has redistributed his wealth? Give your brain a rest.

When Putin looks more like a Capitalist than anyone on the Democratic ticket for President of the United States, then Houston we have a problem! When #Hillary calls for Capitalism to be reigned in; it's time to get a history lesson. When was the last time you read the constitution or the Bill of Rights? Do you know the founding principles of this country & what made this country great?

Freedom is what this country was founded upon & Capitalism is what allowed anyone, regardless of social status, to build a better life for themselves & their families. Do not let the Progressives/Socialists of the New Democratic Party deceive you with their rhetoric about this country, be informed. Look at other countries where a woman can not leave home without a scarf covering her head or face & Hillary Clinton along with Carly Fiorina are both successfully in the race to potentially become the first female president of the United States of America. Hillary bashes America & Fiorina touts the excellence of American freedoms & capitalism at it's finest. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to see Washington is in dire need an infusion of Common Sense & Not dollars & cents; they have taken enough tax payer dollars to as Obama said "fundamentally rebuild America". Okay Mr. President where is the your progress report is an "F" for Failure! You have managed to divide the country as much as the 1960's if not more, raise unemployment to levels equal to the 1920's, convince some people that police officers are terrorist while systematically refusing to call Islamic radicals terrorists. The President has led the march to defend criminals & vilify police officers as he honors thugs, radicals & criminals by attending their funerals, requesting their presence at the White House, all the while he snubs police officers gunned down while on duty or off at the hands of thugs. Mr. President why didn't you attend the funerals of slain Black, White, Hispanic or Asian police officers but you attended the funeral of Michael Brown.

Apparently it takes a brain surgeon to balance a budget in Washington & thank God we have one running for the Presidency in 2016, Dr. Ben Carson. We also have a bizarre love hate relationship with a billionaire reality TV star who is seeking the office & maybe you have heard of him...Donald Trump. Let's get this straight we have a card carrying socialist who honeymooned in the Soviet Union & his name is Bernie Sanders. Mr. Sanders appears to be an angry revolutionary from the 60's who is caught in a time warp who just happens to resemble the mad scientist from the movie "Back to the Future". He should have gone to live in Venezuela next door to Chavez after he returned from his honeymoon.We have the former First Lady, Ex Secretary of State, who might get indicted for her private email server lest we forget her flippant attitude over her cope-ability in the Benghazi deaths of 4  Americans on 9/11 & she also declared she is in favor of socialism. Do not confuse Hillary with her husband former President Bill Clinton, she only uses the Clinton name when it serves to surge her poll numbers, otherwise she is simply Hillary, she is a woman of her own making. Those are the two on the far left Dem side & the other three were a snore fest, so onward to those on the right side the Republicans. Well this is beginning to sound like a screenplay for a lampoon movie rather than a list of Presidential candidates, just keep reading.

We have the two top tier front runners, neither of which are career politicians, one is a retired neurosurgeon & one is a widely successfully businessman. I previously mentioned Mr. Ben Carson & Mr. Donald Trump or The Donald, who share the long list of presidential candidate's list with former CEO Carly Fiorina, Senator Marco Rubio, Governor Jindal, Senator Cruz, former Governor Huckabee, Senator Rand Paul, Senator Santorum,  former Governor Bush not to be confused with his brother or his dad, both former Presidents, so he goes by Jeb, like Cher but far less energized according to Mr. Trump. The list just goes on & on. You must conceded this list is impressive & entertaining at the same time. This list of Republicans is far more varied than the Democratic selections & these people actually make sense. They actually answer questions versus the Democrats who skirt question with silence followed by being inconspicuously absent.
Why should it even be a matter of discussion to say #AllLivesMatter? The straight forward in your face truth is #AllLivesMatter period. No amount politically correct BS will change that fact. As we know most, but not all Dems are #prochoice & not #prolife. You see to truly say All Lives Matter, then you must agree to be Pro Life, right!? No sidestepping political flip flopping needed on this? Either Planned Parenthood selling aborted fetal parts is appalling or it isn't?! Either you agree All Lives Matter or you just pick & choose. If you pick & choose what lives matter & what lives are dispensable, while you have wine over a dinner conversation pertaining to planned abortion, then aren't you somewhat like a terrorist who seeks out to destroy the lives that are deemed by the terrorist to be dispensable? What did I offend some of you reading this? Good, maybe you should be offended but not by me by a political climate that thinks Globally Warming or their new buzz words of "Climate Change" or more of a threat to America that radical terrorist. Maybe you should be offended by the Dems going as far left as to stand at a Democratic debate declaring they are socialists! Maybe just maybe you should be offended that you are so easily offended & you do not have the backbone to take back your country from Socialists who have been parading as Democrats.

Bernie Sanders wants to raise the tax rates to 90% leaving you with only a whopping 10% of your paycheck, while he redistributes your money to those less fortunate. Hillary Clinton wants to Give Free Tuition to All illegal immigrants, meaning Anyone who can make it here to America & walk across the border or those Obama has brought in on plane, train or buses at American expense (Yes it has happened, look it up); gets Free College Education. Alas all of us poor saps who were born in America who can not afford to go to college without working two jobs & spending 15 years after college in debt to pay for it, no we won't be "Entitled" to Free Tuition, only the Illegals get that Freebie from the Dems. How many of you want to present the Federal Government with your bill or your children's bill for college & say "Pay This!?" I thought so! If illegals are going to be given Free Tuition but American citizens aren't entitled to Free Tuition but instead we are entitled to pay the bill for the illegals' free tuition, then aren't we as American citizens being discriminated against? I call BS on this because it definitely smells very foul. All Americans should be offended by by this waste of tax dollars & by the discrimination against American citizens of all races.
Where do you think Tax payer Dollars come from...the government...duh?! Wrong! The tax payer dollars come from tax payers meaning you! Yes you every time you pay sales tax, tax on anything such as property taxes, income taxes etc. Now when you see that your money is being squandered Not just some money you thought that the government printed each time they needed to pay a bill; are you really so quick to dismiss the Spending of this Democratic administration led by President Obama, as just an unbalanced budget? Are you willing to say All Lives Matter, except those of the Ambassador to Libya & 3 other brave Americans? Why don't their lives matter? They do just ask their family & friends. Are you willing to say All Lives Matter except those of unborn fetuses; fetuses that we know have functioning brains when they are aborted? Mr. Obama wants No term limit on abortions & No medical care for them when they are born breathing at 5, 6, 7, 8 months, remember no term limits.

Are you willing to say All Lives Matter, but turn a blind eye to police officers risking their lives to keep you safe from crime? Do All Lives Matter to you or do only #BlackLivesMatter? If you say only #BlackLivesMatter as the Dems did in the debate stage, then you must concede that black on black crime is by far the largest proponent in the equation. Obama does Not yell from the White House steps that Chicago, Baltimore, New York, Philadelphia, Detroit, LA & many inner cities should stop the gang violence, stop the black on black genocide. No instead our President Mr. Obama seeks to further divide this country through whatever means necessary, race, job, religion with no qualms. Joe Biden smirks as he & President Obama look down upon America with disdain for all our forefathers endured, fought for & achieved to make America the Greatest country on the face of the planet Earth.

Do not believe me read about this for yourself. Seek out various news outlets, posts by bloggers, just get yourself informed. Know about the backgrounds of the candidates, hold them accountable for their words & actions. Think to yourself if you or your child had committed the action or said what the people have said & done, then would your feet be held to the fire? Would society hold you or your family member accountable for a crime or a loss of life? The IRS officials holding the highest offices in the IRS broke laws, should they be held accountable? The IRS would have No qualms about holding any of us accountable? Just ask Wesley Snipes, Willie Nelson or any of the other hundreds of thousands of people who have been harassed by the IRS.

It's time we as Americans hold Washington accountable! It's time we hold those wanting to hold the highest office in the land accountable. Ask Mr. Obama to be accountable for his unbalanced budgets & frivolous spending of our tax dollars. It's time we as Americans say enough is enough & we take back our rights as Americans. Americans act like Americans, have a backbone like your forefathers. If you have ever served in the military,  had a family member who served or knew someone who served in the military, they have backbone. Grow a spine & stand up for yourself, stand up for America & say No More to the Progressives & the Socialist! America has protected us & we are Now going to Protect America!
God Bless this Great Nation of America! Maybe I should run for the office of the President of the United States? I knew I'd have you laughing by the time this rant was over! Wise up America, do not let politicians fool you with rhetoric.

A society is judged on how they treated each other, how they treated their poor, elderly, children (including the unborn) & their weak, but also on how weak they were in judgements, both in & out of the courtroom or the voting booth. You see your actions have consequences & all of our actions consequently will write our history.

Thank you for taking your time to read this rant,
Lisa Morgan

www.getbeachslapped.com  for links to my book #getbeachslapped
Download my book Get Beach Slapped for humor, Free Life Lessons, quotes & one liners.
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