Get Beach Slapped: to get slapped with a wave of information or a Reality Check

 

Have you been Beach Slapped? GET BEACH SLAPPED today! Beach Slapped is like a reality check with injections of humor. Life lessons do not come without a price & this one is probably on sale somewhere. This book was written at a time when after losing my Dad, being married most of my adult life, I was trying to find myself. I started writing after a long hiatus and I discovered that my brain wanted to speak out on a whole laundry list of topics, even though my mouth never seems to cease talking. Apparently my brain may not always be engaged when my mouth is conversing. Well imagine that?!

Get Beach Slapped is basically an introduction into my world. The Beach Chronicles will be a 3 part series of books filled with reality checks, stories, humor, one liners, life lessons and hopefully usable wisdom. My mother always said,"Learn from the mistakes of others, you can't live long enough to make them all yourself." Learn from my mistakes & of those around me that I write about, believe it's much easier than living through the chaos.

 The short version is my name is Lisa Morgan aka The Beach Wife and I'm in the "F'ers" Club (over Forty-Fifty Club), married  27 years to a professional  musician, that I've been with for 31 years. Can I just get an applause & a cheers to that statement? We live with our furry children of whom almost all are rescues. Just when you thought life was going according to your plans, Boom life throws you a curve ball or in my case a ball of clumped cat litter. Read on & it will make sense.

                    

At last count we have 5 dogs, 3 of whom are 5 1/2 lbs or less so they really are more like rats than dogs, 1 is about 11 lbs & one is about 80 lbs. The 11 lb. rescue was put on a plane from Cali & flown out to me, so she wouldn't be euthanized. I still am not sure that I ever actually said," Sure go ahead & fly me dog on a Delta flight & I'll pick her up at the airport." It just somehow happened that I got a flutter of texts & the next thing I know the new arrival is to be picked up the following morning at the airport. Now do note that the day of her arrival was my hubby's birthday, which made it easier to break the news to him. It also helped that she took to him immediately & started sitting on his lap in his recliner to watch TV.

The two cats both have identity crisis's, one is 17 years old & has come to think of herself as a dog and she also views the newest rescued feline as a nuisance. The newest feline is a whirling dervish who's only a year old now and she is a country girl at heart who rolls in the dirt.  She loves to play football & wrestle with the dogs when she's not running up a tree. When the whirling dervish cat was about 10 weeks old she started throwing her litter box clumps at me, after she had done her business in the litter box. Mind you, she went directly to the litter box on day one of her rescue & she was only 5-6 weeks old. I thought at the time she wanted a clean litter box, No she wanted to play. She mounted aerial assaults at me every time I entered the bathroom & she would get annoyed when I scooped out the litter box removing her urine clumps or as they came to be known the "pee balls". She finally out grew the tossing of pee balls, thankfully. She does sometimes sit on the toilet though. Never a dull moment at Morgan manor. Life threw me a clumped up pee ball with 2 more rescues, but I love them both dearly. You can never map out your life according to your GPS because sometimes your GPS loses signal. God will have a totally different route planned for you. I found it to be much easier to follow God's planned route for me, than to deviate from God's route. Inevitably when I would take my route there would be pot holes, washed out roads, traffic jams & accidents. It's much easier to daily ask God to lead your way & his will to be done. You will have bumps in the road mingled with dark storms but God will show you a way out, for God's GPS does not lose signal. Learn from the mistakes of others, you can't live long enough to make them all yourself.

                                           

                    The Whirling Dervish feline on her throne, she is a royal pain sometimes but I love her!

This is starting to feel like one of those moments, when someone pulls out their wallet & out falls a plethora of pictures of the family. Actually I just truly dated myself severely. No one carries pics in their wallets anymore, they carry cell phones filled with selfies. Silly me! Color me old school.

 Now you know why I write, for my sanity. Keeping my sense of humor also is for my sanity and for those around me who enjoy the serenity of silence while I'm writing. I read somewhere that writing is an introverted profession, which is true. You listen to your own thoughts, your brain contemplates what your fingers will do next as they type. Believe me my brain and my fingers do not always agree and sometimes that is not a pretty sight.

Let me post one more pic just for the fun of it. The lovely beaches of Florida where I call home. Life is a beach & my alter ego when I write is the "beach wife". Thanks for reading my blog & remember to rescue, adopt or foster animals. Animals give unconditional love 365 days a year; they do not care if you gain weight, have a bad hair day or if you forgot to brush your teeth because their love is unconditional.

  

www.getbeachslapped.com is the web page to find all the links for my book Get Beach Slapped

Download your copy from Barnes & Noble, Amazon, Google Play, Apple itunes 

Thanks for spending your time to read this blog, your time is more valuable than money.

Lisa Morgan aka The Beach Wife 

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